My mum turned me into a girl. Well, actually it was her new friend, Alison, but my mum played along and, being my mum, she has to take the blame. Looking back I realised that Alison and my mum were very clever. I didn't see it coming and by the time I did, it was too late. It started when I was nine years old and by the time I was ten you could say that their mission was pretty much accomplished.
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